Ana-log No. 2 (February, March and April of 2020)
Well, my panicking
hiatus has subsided. I seemed to have adopted a Charlie Harpersque attitude
from that one episode where he says something along the lines of: “Don’t worry.
Something will come up.” Listen, after being a human manifestation of a
pressure cooker for years and years, I believe I can afford to take a bit of a
rest. Trouble isn’t forever, anyway, so why should I worry? In fact, I may or
may not be already sitting on a tempting project that I am not allowed to share
just yet. I will keep you updated as soon as possible. Stay tuned!
But right now, I want to write about the recent happenings in my life.
Let me pick up where I left of- the end of January, which leads us to February, the second month of the year. I brought some of last month’s anxiety into the next one. My mind was occupied by existential ponderings. I really had no idea where to go from where I was. What frightened me most was the idea of having to come up in a world that has already been decided for me by people who never asked for my consent. I desperately wanted to jumpstart a career in Belgrade, despite my tumultuous history with it and having a strong aversion towards its people. I felt as though it would have been much easier to continue building somewhere where I have sort of made a name for myself; in any other place I would have to start from square one; no matter how rewarding that would have been. Everyone has to pay their dues; I understand that, I do. However, a part of me wonders: “Where to draw the line?” All in all, I haven’t reached a definite conclusion yet. I need some more time. February was marked by the multitude of my friends and family members’ birthdays (there is no shortage of Aquariuses and Pisces here and I could not be more thrilled) and the expectancy of my baby niece. I have to start by saying that this baby did not want to go out! She made herself quite comfortable in there. Her due date was sometime between 10th and 14th of February and she was delivered on the 25th. We waited for so long! Everyone made predictions, but no one could have guessed it would be that late. None of that matters now, since we have a perfectly healthy, bitty baby that is cute as a button! Whilst we were waiting, my friends from Belgrade came to visit me for a couple of days. We had tons of fun together chatting and exploring old and new places!
Practically almost immediately after they left, the news about the novel Corona virus reached my nook of the woods. The regulations were set in place, shops, restaurants, parks and shopping malls all closed within a week or two. Since my family and I could not go outside for long periods of time, we thought it would be best to move in with my sister and her family, which we ultimately did on the 21st of March. Once we were all gathered in one space, daily life became much more colorful, to say the least. It was simpler that way because we could help out with children and keep one another entertained. Initially, being the introverted ball of anxiety that I am, I did not want to go, but as soon as I made up my mind to enjoy this strange time in history, everything started to flow smoothly. I kept myself busy by reading, doing chores, taking care of the children and writing a bit. During the first couple of weeks none of us went outside much; we mostly went out to buy groceries or to go on quick walks. I loved spending time with my baby niece, especially singing to her and carrying her. Though she could not understand what I was singing about, I swear she felt the emotion of each song I sang. Babies are miraculous beings! I had a little trouble connecting with my nephew because his “terrible twos” are kicking in, but I still enjoyed his company even when he was being impossible. What kept me sane, I suppose, were the little things, such as talking to friends, reading (I read “The Valley of Spiders” by H.G. Wells and “The Painted Kiss” by Elizabeth Hickey) and writing, listening to music, keeping the home in order (putting everything in its place at the end of each day has become this little eccentric hobby of mine ; it gave me something to focus on for half an hour or so) and of course, earnestly believing and knowing that all will be well again. Days which followed up until the end of April were more or less the same. I did not mind it, really, as long as we were all happy and healthy and had no major issues. I still feel the same way. We had to endure a dose of monotony for society’s benefit as well as our own. Life is bound renew itself after all; we have seen it do so over and over again. It shall undoubtedly be so this time, too.
Let me pick up where I left of- the end of January, which leads us to February, the second month of the year. I brought some of last month’s anxiety into the next one. My mind was occupied by existential ponderings. I really had no idea where to go from where I was. What frightened me most was the idea of having to come up in a world that has already been decided for me by people who never asked for my consent. I desperately wanted to jumpstart a career in Belgrade, despite my tumultuous history with it and having a strong aversion towards its people. I felt as though it would have been much easier to continue building somewhere where I have sort of made a name for myself; in any other place I would have to start from square one; no matter how rewarding that would have been. Everyone has to pay their dues; I understand that, I do. However, a part of me wonders: “Where to draw the line?” All in all, I haven’t reached a definite conclusion yet. I need some more time. February was marked by the multitude of my friends and family members’ birthdays (there is no shortage of Aquariuses and Pisces here and I could not be more thrilled) and the expectancy of my baby niece. I have to start by saying that this baby did not want to go out! She made herself quite comfortable in there. Her due date was sometime between 10th and 14th of February and she was delivered on the 25th. We waited for so long! Everyone made predictions, but no one could have guessed it would be that late. None of that matters now, since we have a perfectly healthy, bitty baby that is cute as a button! Whilst we were waiting, my friends from Belgrade came to visit me for a couple of days. We had tons of fun together chatting and exploring old and new places!
Practically almost immediately after they left, the news about the novel Corona virus reached my nook of the woods. The regulations were set in place, shops, restaurants, parks and shopping malls all closed within a week or two. Since my family and I could not go outside for long periods of time, we thought it would be best to move in with my sister and her family, which we ultimately did on the 21st of March. Once we were all gathered in one space, daily life became much more colorful, to say the least. It was simpler that way because we could help out with children and keep one another entertained. Initially, being the introverted ball of anxiety that I am, I did not want to go, but as soon as I made up my mind to enjoy this strange time in history, everything started to flow smoothly. I kept myself busy by reading, doing chores, taking care of the children and writing a bit. During the first couple of weeks none of us went outside much; we mostly went out to buy groceries or to go on quick walks. I loved spending time with my baby niece, especially singing to her and carrying her. Though she could not understand what I was singing about, I swear she felt the emotion of each song I sang. Babies are miraculous beings! I had a little trouble connecting with my nephew because his “terrible twos” are kicking in, but I still enjoyed his company even when he was being impossible. What kept me sane, I suppose, were the little things, such as talking to friends, reading (I read “The Valley of Spiders” by H.G. Wells and “The Painted Kiss” by Elizabeth Hickey) and writing, listening to music, keeping the home in order (putting everything in its place at the end of each day has become this little eccentric hobby of mine ; it gave me something to focus on for half an hour or so) and of course, earnestly believing and knowing that all will be well again. Days which followed up until the end of April were more or less the same. I did not mind it, really, as long as we were all happy and healthy and had no major issues. I still feel the same way. We had to endure a dose of monotony for society’s benefit as well as our own. Life is bound renew itself after all; we have seen it do so over and over again. It shall undoubtedly be so this time, too.
Comments
Post a Comment