Art of Coping Exemplified by "Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You"
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| Photo credit: Amazon.com |
The way we as society deal with pain is
strange. We shun it away; we compress it so far down our guts that one begins
to wonder if ever existed. And the way we speak of it, the monster we make it
out be, you would think it belongs to a completely foreign deity. There are
examples of positive outlooks on the "angry devil", though. One that
immediately comes to my mind is by "Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to
You", which immaculately exemplifies the art of coping with pain.
"Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To
You" is a 2011 comedy-drama based on its namesake novel by Peter Cameron,
following the growing pains of an isolated 17-year-old James Sveck. We first
encounter James standing on the edge of the building with his dog tied by its
leash behind him barking in trying to stop him from jumping, as his voice
narrates on the voiceover: "I wish the whole day were like breakfast, when
people are still connected to their dreams, focused inward, and not yet ready
to engage with the world around them. I realized this is how I am all day; for
me, unlike other people, there doesn't come a moment after a cup of coffee or a
shower or whatever when I suddenly feel alive and awake and connected to the
world. If it were always breakfast, I would be fine." Just as he is about
to jump, his mother, a very polished New York gallery owner, steps out of the
yellow taxi and starts yelling for him and his sister Gillian, an art student
on a mission to publish a memoir. It soon becomes apparent to the viewer what
kind of high-brow environment surrounds young James Sveck whose struggle to
find his career path and personal identity led him to the breaking point. James
feels the pressure to conform to expectations imposed by his parents and peers
of pursuing some grand career goal which ultimately won't bring him neither joy
nor satisfaction. In dealing with this dilemma, he begins seeing a life coach
who helps him realize that it is perfectly normal to feel confused about the
future.
Throughout the movie, James finds himself
unfolding not only his own life, but the lives of his family and acquaintances,
discovering that each of them is flawed; each of them is burdened by a different
pain. For his mother it's the tumultuous love life; for his father it's
fighting the aging process and appeasing the younger females; for his sister on
the opposite, it's the stress of presenting as older and wiser than she
actually is in order to keep a much older man; even his adorable grandmother
Nanette has regrets such as giving up on her dream of learning to play the
clarinet and breaking off communication with her daughter, James' mother. As
much as the plotline revolves around James' existential crises, it also gives a
thorough insight into the respective crises of other characters. James starts
out as a broken, antisocial, confused teenager helplessly reaching for the last
grain of hope, yet by the end he becomes a self-assured individual and a voice
of reason for their loved ones. He seems to be the one with the most in-depth
understanding of life's fragility and impermanence and therefore the one who is
able to guide others through overcoming the pains that feel more severe to them
than they do to himself.
When his grandmother dies, for instance, instead of being utterly crushed by her death and encouraging his mother to feel regretful because she failed to make amends with her mother, he flips the perception by saying: "The past does not control the future.", meaning that cursing the past won't improve the future. We can only learn from the past and hope to be a little bit wiser for the wear in the future.
Ultimately, "Someday This Pain Will Be
Useful To You" invites the viewer to confront their pain instead of
running away from it. It offers a sense of relief, a sense of confidence in the
fact that this isn't the end, that our time is ticking, but it hasn't stopped.
We hold the keys to our own happiness and as such we have the power to end our
own pain.
Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Someday_This_Pain_Will_Be_Useful_to_You_(film)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Someday_This_Pain_Will_Be_Useful_to_You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5yUQB_HKwE
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