Trouble found me (poem)

                                   

I am exhausted.

My body and mind have blended up quite a cocktail
Everything around me is blurry, distorted, out of focus, precarious…
Apples of my eyes are but the only thing I can see clearly

 

What happens in the rumble of thunder shouldn't concern me, yet, it admittedly does.

 

When it all crashes and burns, will it take me along for the ride?
What is it that nudges me to recklessly tempt the prickling flames?
Some blisters never heal; You'd think I would've learned that by now.


Mirror hours keep flashing again and again.
Will they ever stop?
They probably only faze me, though.

Sugar overload and endless stories
I love everything that is bad for me
My dainty fingers will knowingly reach for
the poison-labeled bottle,
chug it contentedly and
fall face down, out of spite

 

Too smart for my own good,
ironically enough;
Look how far that took me.
I'd gladly donate a sliver of it to
someone in greater need,
because I certainly do not,

Trouble

I've been vigilantly escaping it for years,
but it has finally caught up to me
and it just won't let go


 I'll add a pinch of sugar
Perhaps that will sweeten the burning wound.


Either way, I will return to myself.
As if I ever left the skin-enclosed
parameters that have kept
my heart safe for eons


 I wonder where they are now…
when I so desperately need them.